One of the questions I am asked is, "How old should my child be before they can take the Lord's Supper?" They see their parents take it. They see older brothers or sisters take it. They see other children take it. They see food. They are hungry. They want a "snack".
A General Response
If you are wondering about your child participating in the Lord's Supper, I have two perspectives to share with you. The first is that this is the Lord's Table. It is open to all who are present, including children. It is not limited to members of Valley Bible Church, nor to those from other Evangelical Free Churches. The only requirement is that participants trust in Jesus Christ alone for the forgiveness of their sins and that he will keep all of his promises to us, including the promise of eternal life. The Lord's Supper is a public testimony of faith in the death of Jesus Christ as the sufficient payment for our sins and of our intention to follow Jesus as Lord by obeying his commandments. (Matthew 28:19-20)
Therefore children are welcome to participate in the Lord's Supper:
- when they understand its significance;
- when they are able to give a believable profession1 of faith in Jesus Christ;
- and when they consciously intend to follow the Lord Jesus in obedience.
There is no class your child is required to take to prepare for this. We assume that it is up to you as the parents to determine when your young disciples are ready.
A Personal Response
My other response is to offer some considerations for you as parents to think about before you invite your child to participate in this solemn service. Here are several considerations.
1. Wait until they understand. In the Apostle Paul's teaching on the Lord's Supper in 1 Corinthians 11:17-34, Paul warns us of the seriousness of eating the bread or drinking the cup "in an unworthy manner" (verse 27). He says that if we do this, we "will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord." Though our children may have "accepted Jesus into their hearts" or confess faith in Jesus, we want them to be old enough to think about the significance of the Lord's Supper. They should understand what an "ordinance"
2 means and be mature enough to do the self examination that Paul calls for in verse 28
3.
2. Wait for the significance of the Lord's Supper to impress them. I do not believe it is required that a child be baptized before participating in the Lord's Supper. However it does seem like a natural order of things. Baptism is an initiatory rite for new believers. The Lord's Supper is an ongoing, "maintenance" type of event. Even though a child can technically qualify for baptism or the Lord's Supper at an earlier age, I believe it will be helpful to wait until they understand what a privilege it is to participate in these ordinances.
3. Wait for more independent thinking. It's not unusual for those who are raised in Christian homes and who "make a decision for Christ" early in life to struggle with the reality of that decision when they are older in life. They may question, "Did I really mean it?" "Did I really do that?" "How do I know whether or not that prayer 'worked'?"
Children are thinking more independently when they enter the teen years. They seem more likely to think of decisions and commitments that they make as teens as their own and not just the decision of their parents. As we get older we may not remember the connection of why we made such an important decision as children.
I have a vague memory of my mother explaining the message of the Gospel and my need to believe in Jesus when I was very young. My parents tell me that I prayed to receive Jesus when I was four or five. I do not know to this day that I remember that or that I understood what I was doing. I went through a personal crisis of faith after I graduated from High School and was in Bible School. I remember the climax of the crisis happening one night when I was all alone. I vividly remember praying, "Lord, whether or not I believed in you as a child, I believe that you are my only hope. Tonight I believe in Jesus, that his death on the cross paid for all my sins. I confess Jesus is Lord of my life and I commit myself to be his disciple for the rest of my life." By this time I was 19 and from that point on I had no question about my faith in Jesus. I never felt a need to "accept Jesus into my heart" again.
4. Wait for anticipation. Each time the tray of bread or juice passes them by in a service, it is a good reminder that one day they will join this wonderful celebration. Children too often are given what they want when they want it. It is good for them to learn that some things are worth waiting for. When they are old enough, the experience will be more meaningful to them.
5. Wait until they will remember it. Many mainline churches hold a special service for "first communion." This event is held when the child reaches the age of around 12 or 13. It often comes after months of preparation in "catechism" or "Bible Instruction" classes. They grow up to remember that event, not only for the service but for the time they prepared for it, the celebration of the family as they joined them in it, and the solemnity of the service when they were allowed to participate. That seems to be a worthwhile achievement.
6. Wait for maturity. I would make the appeal that children be encouraged to wait until they are somewhere between the ages of 12 and 14. That time is not a requirement. It is only a suggestion. It would mark a passage though from childhood to young adulthood. It is a tangible point where there can be expectations of certain privileges along with accompanying responsibilities that are associated with maturing young people.
Just because children are asked to wait for a time before they can participate in the Lord's Supper does not mean it cannot be a significant time for them before they are old enough to participate. We should be sure that we teach them about the celebration of the death of Jesus, its significance, and how to prepare themselves through confession of sin and remembering the Lord's death "until he comes."
The goal in this is not that we as parents look for a "perfect" time (whatever that is). The goal is that our child will know personally that wonderful relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. They will know that he is alive today. They will know that he satisfies the deepest longings of their hearts and that he alone is capable of bringing about that life-changing work in their hearts. May the Lord use our efforts to nudge our children to a more authentic and intimate fellowship with him!
- Pastor John Westerholm
1 A "believable profession of faith" would be one in which the child is not prompted by anyone with answers. It is not a memorized answer. It is a thought through expression of sin consciousness, and that the death of Jesus on the cross was not only for the sins of the world but to pay for all our sins individually. "Christ died for my sins." There is nothing that I can do to pay for my sins. Ephesians 2:8-9
2 An "ordinance" is a law that has been passed. A town can pass an ordinance regarding dogs on a leash. A church ordinance is a service commanded by Jesus Christ. We believe Jesus commanded us to observe two ordinances, baptism (Matthew 28:19-20) and the Lord's Supper (1 Corinthians 11:23-26).
3 According to 1 Corinthians 11:29, the self examination has to do with "discerning the body." It also calls for us to have "judged ourselves" in verse 31. It is not so much figuring out whether or not we have sinned (we have) or thinking about our past as making sure that we trust in Jesus Christ as full sufficient payment for all our sins now and that what we are about to do is about Jesus and his body both in his flesh and in his body the church. Was Christ's body broken for my sin? Was his blood shed to pay for my sin? Am I fully trusting Christ or something I am doing for my relationship of justification before God and peace with his people?